I could be talking about the weather. In fact, the weather lately has been pretty wet. We had a huge snow storm a few weeks ago that has left lingering piles of snow around town, even today. It's been raining on and off since last week. My heels keep getting stuck in the mud when I walk across the yard to get to my van in the morning. Roads around the county are flooded. I have friends whose houses are flooded. The rain can stop any time now and we'd be set for a while!
But I wasn't really talking about rain. I was talking about life. Work has been busy lately. I took on the responsibility of spending 45K in grant money. If there was ever anything that could suck the fun out of shopping, it would be trying to spend 45K in 2-3 weeks!
At home, I've been really trying to limit my electronics time. I told myself I was giving up my phone time at home, but I haven't managed to go an entire day without it yet. I have made a big effort to put it down, out of the way, and engage more with the actual people in my house. I even deleted the Facebook App. Which isn't really that big of a deal, since I can still get there from a web browser, but it's a start!
The kids are going through something. I used to say that they took turns pushing my buttons, but it seems that since around Christmas sometime, they've really been ganging up on me. Actually, "ganging up" would require some sort of cooperation on their part, which is definitely not happening! I would say it's maybe more of "no holds barred" type of situation. It hasn't all been bad, but the bad has been bad enough to leave me questioning every single parenting decision I've ever made.
It's also been bad enough for me to seek some outside help. I've got an appointment next week to talk to a family counselor. We're not dealing with drugs, or physical injury, or any of the other extremes that I know some families deal with. However, we're dealing with more than I want to be dealing with and I'd like some help in finding the answers.
Blogging this year has really taken a back seat to everything else. Honestly, I guess that's how it should be. I mean, I would miss the interaction and the writing, but thankfully, I don't depend on the income so stepping back wouldn't have that type of effect on me. I don't want to say that I'm throwing in the towel though. I just may not be around as much as I have been in the past. I'm way behind with catching up on comments and reading other blogs too. I'm sorry about that. I'll get to it at some point.
Ultimately, I have to remind myself that February seems to do this to me every year. There are always weather delays and cancellations and holidays to throw of the regular routines. The kids have been asking every morning, "Do we have school today?" They are confused and feeling out of sorts, which I know can contribute to behavior issues. It's the shortest month of the year, but it just drags on forever.
March is almost here, and with that I can see hope. March is always a better month that February. There's my birthday, Spring Break, Easter, SPRING, sunshine, and hopefully warmer weather to look forward too. I feel like if I can just hold on until March, then I know things will have to start getting better.
I felt like I needed to get this explanation out of my head, and I felt like some of you might be wondering what's going on. This is as much of an update as I have to offer right now. I'll be back. Things will get better. Writing will flow more regularly in the future. Thanks for sticking around!