Tuesday, February 2, 2016

If Parenting Were a TV Show

I know I'm not alone in saying that parenting has its share of ups and downs, good days and bad days, crying for the sweetness and crying for the madness kinds of moments. I've come to expect all the little curve balls life sends my way, but I still get caught off guard from time to time. It got me to thinking...

Wouldn't Parenting Be Easier as a TV Show?

  1. TV shows typically come in two lengths: 30 minutes or 60 minutes (give or take with commercials and such). And all of life's problems get handled within that time frame. I think I'd breathe easier knowing that any problem I would encounter during the day would be able to be solved within a set time period.
  2. Speaking of commercials, wouldn't it be nice if life had commercial breaks? Just a brief moment every once in a while to just stop, take a break, and let someone else do the talking?
  3. Aside from commercials, another thing I'd like to do in life is hit the pause button. Got screaming kids in the other room while you're up to your elbows in raw chicken? Pause that scene, wash up, and calmly walk over to diffuse the situation. Kid running towards the parking lot when you leave the grocery store? Hit pause and give yourself time to catch up. Kids cuddling on the couch reading each other stories and telling each other how much they love one another? Who are you kidding?!?! OK, OK, take a pause to bask in that rare, unicorn moment.
  4. As my kids get older and become more and more of their own person, I am finding a lot of situations where I just don't know what to say or do. It's in these instances that a script would come in handy. Whether I'm living in a comedy or a drama, someone else can do the research into the perfectly worded response or course of action. All I'd have to do is read!
  5. And if I get it wrong the first time? Retake! We'll just shoot that scene again! I'll say my lines with various different inflections until they produce the coveted tween smile, instead of the all-too-common eye roll.
  6. While I'm not in the scene currently shooting, I get to take a break. That's nice, I'm not really used to breaks. On occasion, I'll probably sneak over to the other set so I can spy on my kids at school or see what hubby's doing at work. That'll give me a better idea of how their days are going so I know what to expect for the mood at dinner time.
  7. Besides the breaks I'd get when I'm not featured in a scene, I'm also looking forward to the off-season. Most shows typically run 10-14 episodes once or twice a year and take time off in between, right? I could do that!
  8. After a long season of living, I'm sure one of the things I'll enjoy doing during the off-season is watching the blooper reel. Every family has one, they just don't necessarily have one on tape, perfectly edited together. Wouldn't it be nice to sit down to a family blooper reel after a long, hard week and just laugh ourselves silly together?
  9. Hair, makeup, and a personal trainer. I don't think I need to explain much more than that, do I?
  10. The memories. If my life were a TV show, I'd buy all the DVDs and line them up on my shelves to proudly watch as the years go by. Life is wild and sometimes I want to pull my hair out over someone's latest antics, but I really wouldn't trade it for anything!
What TV show would best represent your life?

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