Tuesday, August 25, 2015

10 Things We Don't Argue About

Today is "Kiss and Make Up Day." Sounds like a great day to talk about arguing, right? With three kids and two parents, we have a good deal of arguing that goes on at our house on a regular basis. Usually I refer to it as my children practicing their conflict resolution skills. That makes it sound better, right?

I'm coming off six days of vacation, putting my last Kindergartner on the bus, Ken dislocating his shoulder, and the rearranging of bedrooms at my house too, so my emotional state is a little bit fragile right now. As I was thinking of this post, and being mad that it was going to be late, I decided that I really didn't want to write about arguments. I needed something lighter. So instead, I bring you...

10 Things We Don't Argue About At My House


A good friend once told me that one important thing she had learned in parenting was to pick your battles. There are many things I choose not to dig my heels in about. It just isn't worth getting upset over certain things. Then there are other things that we've all managed to agree on. It's amazing, I know!

1.  The toilet seat: We've always closed the lid. I think originally the reasoning had something to do with keeping the cat out of the toilet, but it's also more sanitary and better looking. The kids have always managed to put the lid down when they're done. They don't always remember to flush, however, and that's another thing we don't argue about.

2.  The toilet paper goes over. That's just the American way, folks. Any other way is just plain silly. The only times I have seen it under were when the kids were just learning to change the roll, and you'd better believe that I didn't complain about how they changed the roll as long as they changed it!

3.  The thermostat stays put. Ken usually likes it a bit cooler in the summer than I do, but he turns on the fan and that makes him happy. I'm actually more comfortable under a blanket when I'm sitting anyway. In the winter, I'll put on a sweater and he'll still be comfortable in his t-shirts. Besides, my dad and Calvin's dad always said that wearing a sweater build character!

4.  I sleep near the wall. I like being in the corner for some reason. Ken is more comfortable being on the other side. It also fits with the way we naturally sleep. We've never really discussed who sleeps where, but that's how it always works out.

5.  Ken cooks dinner when he's home, I cook when he's not. Ken schedule isn't a regular 8-5, but there is still a pattern to it. He's usually home Tuesday and Thursday evenings and then one evening on the weekends. He makes dinner those nights. Obviously, when he's not home, I cook. It makes sense. And both of us enjoy cooking.

6.  I make very few comments on the kids' choice of clothing. We are finally hitting a stride where the only person I have to dress in the morning is myself. (Although with Ken's arm in a sling, he needs a little temporary help.) As long as the kids' clothes cover the appropriate parts of their bodies, I refrain from making comments on the color and/or pattern choices they make. If you see my kids out in public, you may kindly assume that they dressed themselves, and I'll do the same for you!

7.  Dirty dishes go in the sink. We just don't have the counter space to stack dishes on the counter. And I'm never caught up enough to have the dishwasher ready to receive dirties on a regular basis. The only exception to this rule is Ken's milk glass, which he leaves on the counter "in case he wants another glass later." He rarely does, but I just roll my eyes at him and go on with my day.

8.  We don't argue about money. We can't. We don't have any!! LOL! Seriously, though. All of our bills are paid and extra tends to show up when we need it to.

9.  We each drive our own vehicle. Ken has a 5-speed truck. We don't use it often because it only has two seats and a jump seat. If he and I go somewhere in the truck, though, he drives. When we go places in the van, I drive. The exception to this is that Ken drives on road trips. I don't actually like driving long distances anyway, so it works out for both of us.

10.  We're in this for life. I hope that doesn't sound flip. We've never looked a divorce as an option, so we've always made a point to work out the things that are bothering us. As you can see from the rest of this list, many things just come naturally to us, so I think we've made a good match. Sure, he irritates me from time to time, but I'm sure he gets annoyed by me on occasion as well.

Incidentally, as we were in bed the night he dislocated his shoulder, he was apologizing to me about getting hurt. I reassured him that I wasn't mad at him. and then I jokingly recited our vows to him. "I promised in sickness and in health, so that's what we'll do. We've done 'good times and bad' too. Now that I think of it, we've done the poorer part too. When do we get to the 'richer?"

He turned to me in the dark and said, "That's an 'or,' Rabia. It's richer or poorer. We only get to pick one."

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