Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Going Through The Emotions

Funny things happen sometimes. I was trying to title this post "Going Through the Motions" as a shout out to one of my favorite Buffy episodes of all time, "Once More With Feeling." Buffy is feeling kinda blah with life. Directionless and wandering, she sings "Will I stay this way forever; sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?" That's how I've been feeling the past two weeks. Not bad, but not good either. Mostly just a blah. I'm in a funk. I'm perfectly willing to chalk this one up to hormones, which made it even more funny when I had a typo in the title field and wrote "Going Through the Emotions." I'll stick with that.

I've not been sleeping or eating well, and I know all those things are tied into my mental health as well. I'm not worried, I'm just waiting it out. I spent a good deal of time relaxing this weekend. I read a few books and watched some TV with the kids.

This week has been a good one. Frances has violin camp and she's doing really well with it. I got to listen to her group practicing yesterday and I teared up with how wonderful they sound. They will get to perform with a local band at a music festival next weekend and she's very excited about it. I love watching her grow her talent and blossom.

Henry has been spending the week with my friend Julie. He actually spent the night Monday night, in a last minute decision. He was fine with being away from home and I got really good reports about his attitude and behavior while he was gone. He's had a great time and I"m so thankful to Julie for being able to help me out.

Benjamin and I had a talk this week about not crying all the time. Usually when he doesn't get his way, his immediate response has been to turn on the waterworks. I kindly explained to him that he's getting to old for that sort of thing and it doesn't really work to get him his way anyway. I won't say the tears are over, but they aren't lasting as long lately.

Last night we went for a walk in the cemetery. Actually, the kids took their bikes/scooters and Ken and I walked. It was nice to watch them going in circles around us as we held hands and talked. They stopped at the "gas station" every few circuits to share some Gatorade from Ken's backpack. They laughed and giggled as they rode past each other. They lined up with no arguments when we said it was time to go home.

Life is good. I have nothing to complain about. It just seems that I'm going through lots of motions and emotions right now. I don't know the solution and I don't know that I necessarily need one. I think I can just wait this out. I'm giving it until this weekend before I start to worry, and maybe not even then.

Do you ever feel like you're going through motions or emotions? How long does it last? Can you pinpoint any causes?


  1. Rabia, trust me I have been there and especially more so during that time of the month. So hormones yes do totally contribute here. Hoping you are feeling better soon and send some hugs your way now.

  2. Melissa Hunter-KilmerJuly 2, 2015 at 9:28 AM

    It's like that sometimes. Maybe there is something percolating beneath your surface that you don't want to acknowledge—that's often how it is with me. God bless you!

  3. Sometimes when life is good and smooth, I get the blahs. I guess if it's just been fantastic and more than good, I feel let down and like I miss excitement. If it's been bad, I get happy to be smooth again but then I think, "What now?"
    I guess I can blame hormones too!

  4. The blahs, they seem kind of a mystery to me for why they happen. They do take time to work through, but good walks, and happy times with those I love do help. Hopefully you have a wonderful weekend and happy 4th to you!


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