Friday, May 1, 2015

Am I Allowed to Dread Weekends?

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!! Everyone is so excited with all their T.G.I.F. memes and big weekend plans. In my world, the students are also excited to get exams over with and move on to graduation and summer as of next week. When I was a kid, I used to love Fridays as well. They usually meant time off from responsibilities and chores. I could spend all weekend reading books, watching TV or playing video games.

That's not the case anymore. Weekends now mean soccer games, birthday parties, church retreats, dance recitals, and two full days with the kids by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but a full weekend of refereeing fights, chauffeuring them around, and trying to grab a minute for myself is exhausting. And I don't have any backup. Ken works all weekend almost every weekend. The only time he has off is for church and parts of soccer games.

I read an article this week with new research that shows that for many people, stress levels are actually lower in the office than they are at home. That's not a bad thing, though. 

“The fact that people’s stress levels go down when they are at work, I don’t think it means that they don’t like their homes or their kids,’’ said Sarah Damaske, an assistant professor of labor and employment relations at Penn State and the study’s lead author. “I think it suggests that there is something about work that is good for you. Being in the moment, focusing on a task, completing that task, socializing with your co-workers — all of these are beneficial and that’s part of what’s lowering your stress level.’’

 I have work stress and home stress, but the work stress doesn't seem to touch me as deeply. If I mess up paperwork, or miss a deadline, or even break something important it's a bad thing; but it cannot compare to the pressure I feel at home when I'm trying to raise kind, compassionate, well-rounded children who WON'T STOP ARGUING OVER A PILLOW NOBODY HAS WANTED UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE GOT IT OUT!

I know there will come a day when weekends will be less chaotic. Maybe they'll even be fun, family bonding times. We'll go out to a movie together and have fun conversations. The kids will sleep in on a Saturday and then we'll all make breakfast together. We'll read our own books on the couch, or take a hike (without me having to carry anyone). We'll have moments where we each get to do our own things and then come together and share about our adventures.

There will also be weekends after the kids are gone. I may have the whole house to myself. I won't be able to complain about dishes or laundry, or even toys on the floor, because those woes will be long gone. Ken and I might sleep in and then go out for a leisurely breakfast. Or an early 4:00 dinner (that's when the senior citizen discount kicks in, right??)

I'm not wishing away my time with the kids. I accept this part of life for what it is: busy, trying, and temporary. I know that along with the giggles, comes the fighting. Tickle fights go hand-in-hand with pillow fights (the aforementioned ones, not the fun kind). For all the times they need my help, there will come times when they will outright refuse my advice. That's all part of growing up. It's all very bittersweet.

But for right now, “Something that I used to love and now hate (and will love again someday)...is my busy weekend agenda."

This is my first foray in the world of Finish the Sentence Friday.
Hosted by: Kristi from Finding Ninee
Co-hosted by:
Allie (this week’s sentence thinker upper) of The Latchkey Mom and Kelly of Just TypiKel.

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Finish the Sentence Friday is a place where writers and bloggers are able to link up and share their version of the week's sentence prompt.


Finish the Sentence Friday

29 comments :

  1. I TOTALLY understand your hatred for weekends if Ken isn't around! I'm fine on my own with the kids all week, but if Andrew has a concert or rehearsal on the weekends, it drives me crazy and makes everything seem so much harder!!!

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  2. You are preaching to the choir on this and your weekends sound so much like mine now, too!

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  3. You took me right back to those busy, busy weekends. The challenge for me was remembering to pack all the different gear. I cringe to think of the number of times some far more organized than me mom handed an extra pair of socks to my son. Why? We'd forgotten to bring socks for his stint on the soccer sidelines. He'd gone right from dawn swim practice to water polo practice and then on to his sister's soccer game...

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  4. Oh I hear you - by Sunday night I'm usually exhausted! But I still appreciate a Friday. For one, we rarely have kid activities scheduled after school on Fridays (although this will change next year, with one heading to high school), and Saturday morning I sleep in - or everyone suffers:).

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  5. Yes!!! David does' work on the weekends, but, when he is home, things are just different. He can be hard not eh kids sometimes and it's just one more person who needs me! 😜 I would agree with that article. I admit that I do look forward to the 2 days a week that I work and doing all the mom stuff every afternoon is much more stressful.

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  6. Yes!! This is the first weekend in a long time that I don't have from sunup till sundown activities scheduled. I am so excited! I still have children to manage, but we can sleep in until at least 6:30 am on Saturday and I don't have to make lunches :) Ah. motherhood, right?

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  7. Kristi - Finding NineeMay 1, 2015 at 6:29 PM

    My husband has been working almost every weekend recently as well and I so hear you! We have two birthday parties tomorrow and swim lessons. One thing though is that when he works the weekends, he usually lets me sleep in a little on one of the days which is really nice. Thanks so much for linking up with Finish the Sentence!

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  8. All this time I thought I was the only one! Weekends are so much more work. But the kids love having Daddy around so it's worth it.

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  9. We've recently entered the world of "our kid has so much stuff to do on the weekend and it's way more than I'm interested in." It's different, that's for sure. I do still love Friday afternoon/evening, though. Even with a busy weekend on the calendar, there is something different, something special about Friday nights. Can't put my finger on it...it just is!

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  10. Welcome to FTSF! It's a really great and supportive group. I understand your feelings about weekend craziness: honestly, I think that we'll need to start using project management software to keep up with everything that needs to happen over this weekend alone! And it will start right over again in a week. I'm really looking forward to the summer....

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  11. I know exactly how you feel. it's better now that the boys are older but there have been many weekends that I wished away - Chris has drill one weekend a month (this weekend, in fact). The worst used to be when he was gone/deployed. I dreaded weekends then - they just seemed long and lonely.

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  12. It is totally fine to dread the weekend. The only thing I love about the weekend is having my husband home, LOL!

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  13. Oh my goodness, YES! I am the same, Rabia. Before kids, I loved weekends, but now that I have them, I don't look forward to them as much as I used to. Still love them, but they're not the relaxing weekends of long before. Instead, it means still waking up at the same time (because kids don't sleep in, darn them) and spending the whole day technically 'working.'

    As the kids have gotten older, weekends have become much easier to deal with and are more fun. But not as fun as when I was 26 years old lol.

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  14. I very often like the quiet diligence of a Monday morning - both kids at school, Cassidy at work, and me finally getting to my photos/writing. Although I'm oddly looking forward to summer break too, even though that throws everything out the window!

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  15. I look forward to Mondays too. I like the structure of coming in and sitting at my desk and knowing that I can accomplish what I need to with minimal interruptions.

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  16. I always, stupidly think I'm going to get to sleep in on Saturdays, but no matter what we do, the kids are up at the crack of dawn and somebody has to go referee the arguments.

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  17. It would be nice if I could tag out on the weekends, but it rarely happens.

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  18. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with Ken being completely gone. I imagine that would be worse.

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  19. I have a spreadsheet for the summer activities. No kidding! It's the only way I can keep track of who goes where and when (and whether I have to pack a lunch)!

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  20. Friday nights are a bit more relaxed. We can eat dinner at our leisure and I don't have to nag about homework. I always think that if I let them stay up late they'll sleep in the next morning, but we both know that never happens!

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  21. Mine don't get much Daddy time on the weekends, but he does take care of a lot of their after-school stuff during the week, so they enjoy that time with him.

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  22. I can usually steal a nap on Saturdays if I let the kids watch tv. That's a nice perk! LOL

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  23. This past weekend was nice because soccer got cancelled after all the rain. We still had a ton of things to get done though.

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  24. I hear ya! Ken's expectations are very different from mine and the kids are just used to mine. It's getting better as they get older, though. I think he remembers himself at those stages better.

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  25. Fridays are typically our movie night. Dinner is more relaxed and we don't have to rush. I do appreciate those aspects of the weekend.

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  26. Soccer gear never even makes it in the drawers. It goes straight into the soccer bag to be ready for the next game. Plus, we have extra socks, so even if I get behind, I'm good there. That's probably the only place I'm organized, though!

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  27. I think a lot of it is the perception. Even though I know it's not the case, I still think of weekends as fun and relaxing. I need to work harder to change my mindset and be more realistic about what's coming!

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