Friday, January 30, 2015

The Waiting Game: One I Hate Playing

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a patient person. I've even had people compliment me on my patience. Usually after watching me deal with a child's public meltdown without yelling or screaming. I think it's great that I've fooled so many people into thinking I'm patient, but I'm just not.

In fact, one of the worst words to ever say to me is "wait." I hate it. Wait is worse than "no." At least with no there is closure. It ain't gonna happen, so just move on.  Wait, on the other hand means that it will likely happen, but not for a while. That makes my head explode.

The ammonia is too high in our fish tank right now. We lost a fish because of it. :( The fish experts at the pet store told me to do some water changes, trouble up the rocks at the bottom and clean them out good. We're also supposed to stop feeding the fish for a few days at a time. And then the dreaded word: wait! I don't want to wait! I want the tank to be better so the fish will be okay!
fish tank mermaid
I'm trying to fix your home, fishies. I promise!

We're trying hard to manage our finances and make good money choices. And I know that relief is coming. Especially when Ben goes to Kindergarten and we no longer have a day care bill. But until then...we wait. I can see the burden being lifted, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't want to be patient! I want to be debt-free!

We had a recent upset in plans. Something we had both hoped for and prayed for was not meant to be. I spent almost a full two days crying about the loss (of something we never really had). Lots of people reminded me that God has good things in store for us. And while I fully believe that, I get tired of waiting for those things to come! I want them now!!

I guess it's good that most people perceive me as a patient person. On the outside, I guess I am. But on the inside, I get agitated when I have to wait. And I'll just go ahead and assume that's how God is teaching me patience.


1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you; encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

23 comments :

  1. yes, waiting is no fun but I'm learning much in the waiting process. Praying for you as you and your hubby trudge on through the road to being debt-free. We have traveled that road. It is tough at times but so rewarding when you get to that place! Blessings on you as you continue to wait! :)

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  2. I like your honesty.
    I think patience is never going to a something we can accomplish...like I finally ran a 5k without stopping...yeah me, glad's that over. More like I love my husband...its every day. And while there should be those tangible fruits even as our own unreliable emotions and heart vary almost minute by minute, its basically willfully opening up every day to not put ourselves first.
    I'm your 5minfri neighbor.
    Cheers,
    Leah

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  3. I am truly not patient or good with waiting either, but people truly don't perceive me as either, too. So you truly must be doing something right 😉

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  4. Oh this is good, considering my word this year is Patience... I have been praised and reminded of that word several times this year already, but I think January can float by as a huge PASSED IT!!!! One month down 11 to go :), oh and the rest of my life of course :) Now as for that fish tank, see if there are any fish that you can add that will keep the levels neutral, check the PH balance daily (that way you will feel like you are doing more than waiting) and clean the sucker. The smaller the tank the harder it is to keep balanced, the larger the tank the easier... We owned Fresh water tanks for years.... Good luck mate :)

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  5. I'm am always being asked how I can be so patient, I will happily wait long after many people start spitting out there dummies. If I am asked to wait for something, I don't min just so long as there is good reason behind it and I'm not being walked over.

    Somethings just aren't meant to be, no matter how much we would like them. I hope that some good comes out of your lost hopes. Maybe something better will happen...Maybe....

    I also hope you sort your fish tank out, we tried our hand at keeping fish along time back and just when we thought we had it sussed the tank cracked and broke in the middle of the night and sadly we lost the fish. The tank fitted nicely between two wooden supports and could be viewed from either side, but it seems that in the heat of summer the wooden supports expanded putting too much pressure on to the tank, causing it to break. We now stick with dogs as they are so much easier to keep!

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  6. Waiting is always the hardest part! ALWAYS! I am terrible when it comes to waiting!

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  7. Thanks, Rachel. I'm no good at waiting when I can see the finish line, but I don't really have a choice, so I need to find the joy in it.

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  8. Hi Leah,
    Thanks for stopping by to share your insights. Patience is a never ending quest, isn't it? I need to look for more joy in it.

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  9. Thanks for the tips, Ray. I've got the Fish Store on speed dial and I know which workers to ask for by name, now!! We're doing daily water tests, but the levels still haven't dropped. I've even considered asking if the Pet Store makes house calls!

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  10. I think I knew all along that some things just weren't meant to be, but I also think I needed to let myself grieve for the "could have been" for a little while. I've gotten some good perspective on the matter now and I'm not as upset about the situation as I had been. Thanks for stopping by!

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  11. I hope so, Janine! I feel like we're stuck in limbo right now. But I know good things are coming!

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  12. I am so impatient! I want things to happen yesterday.

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  13. I hate waiting! This week I have spent hours of my life waiting at Urgent Cares and ER rooms and it has driven me stark raving mad! I think if I hear the statement, "wait right here" one more time this week, I am going to scream!

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  14. I love your bravery in admitting these things. And then I'm thinking, why does being real and honest seem so brave nowadays? Because there's a lot of people walking around faking being okay. Good luck with the fish (and other things). I think fish water is as magical as weight loss in terms of getting it right!!

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  15. Oh, so sorry about the fish - that is sad!!
    And, whatever the big thing you had on tap that didn't work out - I know that is always hard.
    I'm with you - not a great waiter!!!

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  16. Kristen Miller HewittJanuary 31, 2015 at 7:47 PM

    It's so hard to teach patience when we don't have patience isn't it? I hope yo uare ok and that whatever happened has a positive outcome - life happens when we are busy planning it.

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  17. Rabia, I'm right there with you. I can't stand waiting.. for anything. I'm so bad. I remember times I've had to wait, and I can barely take it. Even for little things!
    I hope the fish are ok!

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  18. Me too!! Waiting is no fun at all. Even if it builds character or makes me a better person. Blah!

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  19. The fish tank is doing much better today. I did two more water changes and cleaned the rocks out good. Plus, I stopped feeding them.
    I see so many people being fake online and it worries me. I may not be awesome all the time, but I still like myself!!

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  20. The fish are getting better, thankfully. The other thing, not so much, but I'm at peace with that for now. That's just how life works sometimes.

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  21. That's so true, Kristen! I'm still disappointed, but life will work out in the end.

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  22. Waiting is tough. It always has been for me. The good news is that the fish are looking better!

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