I want you to see them because that is how I think of him. But lately he's been having some anger issues. Something will set him off and he just seems to explode! He curls up his fists and makes a mean face and his whole body just shakes.
|He was mad because somebody laughed at him|
I emailed the guidance counselor at the kids' school and set up an appointment. Ken was off from work and able to come too, so we both heard the same information at the same time. Here's what we talked about:
- Anger is a healthy emotion--there is nothing wrong with being angry
- Kindergarten is a tough time, especially for boys--kids have a lot of rules and regulations placed on them and they don't get much chance to just run around
- Being the middle kids is hard--you don't get all the privaleges of being oldest or all the "cute points" for being youngest
- Anger management strategies can be taught.
- pinwheel (I cut off the point at then end and wrapped the stick with electrical tape to make it sturdier)
- glitter jar (water, glue, glitter, food coloring--glue the lid on and shake)
- shark ice pack with cool beads inside
- "puzzle links" They click and you can make cool shapes out of it.
- mini tissue box
- coloring book and crayons
- squeeze animal
Then I reminded him that my most important job as a parent was to help him to grow up to be the best Henry he could be. And I told him that in order to do that I wanted to help him by giving him some tools he could use to control his angry outbursts.
By this time Ken was home, so he kept an eye on the other two while I took Henry in my room and showed him his "Calming Caddy."
After I was done explaining the caddy to him, I asked him to go get his pajamas on and get ready for bed and then we would have time for a cartoon before he went to sleep. In the hour or so between our conversation and bedtime, he got "mad" six times. I use quotes because I could tell that he wasn't really mad. Some minor annoyance would occur and he would say, "I'm mad!! I need my tools!" and then he would stomp off to my room and shut the door. The two times I got up to check on him he was happily playing on the floor with his new
I decided to go ahead and let him because he was using the correct vocabulary and procedure. I knew that having a whole basket of new items that were just for him would be too hard for him to resist. The real test will come the next time he is actually mad. I anticipate it will happen sometime this weekend. I promise to report back.